BEEP! BEEP! Your pizza pockets are ready.

Wow! Normally things take up to nine hours to cook right? Well now thanks to science you can have food in less than a minute! If you are looking for a father figure I recommend the microwave. I mean it’s reliable, sturdy, and it lights up when you cook things. Awesome.

Microwaves were invented by the Dutch as a means to build dykes and those wooden shoes. Turns out that they can do neither of these things. The Dutch were so upset that they developed a pot smoking habit just to dull the pain. Poor folks! But their loss is our gain!

You should head down to your local Consumer’s Distributing and pick one up.

45 Minutes on Defrost

(Photo by Wikipedia user DorisRHanlin. This file is made available under the Creative Commons CC0 1.0 Universal Public Domain Dedication.)