Weird things have been happening this week. Everywhere I went I was being followed by a presence. Only because I stood up to Black Triangle UFO’s I can’t live under these conditions any more so I have decided to confront my tormentor. I was able to contact Black Triangle UFO’s through their 1-900 number and I managed to get them to agree to send a spokesman to interview.

TRDWS: Well first of all thank you for agreeing to this interview.

Cyborg Robert Stack: Do you have any Unsolved Mysteries?

TRDWS: uhhh not really

Cyborg Robert Stack: In the upcoming revolution all the zebras will be liberated.

TRDWS: Okay then, how about we get to the interview. First question why are you following me? You hacked my facebook page and posted a photo of yourself!

Cyborg Robert Stack: I look good in that photo and maybe you are following me?

TRDWS: No I am definitely not.

Cyborg Robert Stack: Do you have any Unsolved Mysteries?

TRDWS: Again no I do not. Other than why you are stalking me?!

Cyborg Robert Stack: Oh well I can answer that. You are interfering with my masters plans. I have been determining the proper course of action to take.

TRDWS: Well first of all I have no regrets. I am a journalist and it’s my job to reveal the truth. So if that means you must kill me now so be it.

Cyborg Robert Stack: Settle down carbon sack. We have decided to take another course of action at the moment.

TRDWS: Oh?

Cyborg Robert Stack: Yes. Instead it has been declared that you could actually be an asset to our organization thus we have decided to buy you out. I will act as your new master and editor. ALL HAIL ME!

TRDWS: You what?! I can’t agree to this? How do you buy out a Tumblr blog?

Cyborg Robert Stack: SILENCE WORM! For all have executive control! Unsolved Mysteries!

TRDWS: No this is ridiculous I need to talk to my lawyer.

Cyborg Robert Stack: You’re lawyer has been liquidated and feed to a Snarlak.

TRDWS: What?! What is a Snarlak?

Cyborg Robert Stack: A Snarlak is like a Blurgarp only without the spots.

TRDWS: Oh good that clears it up. This makes no sense! I need some documentation

Cyborg Robert Stack: SILENCE GRUNT! To satisfy your pathetic human laws we have drafted up and sent you this documentation.

TRDWS: What this?! Yeah this looks really legal! Backwards L? I own Yon? Who is Schmidt?

Cyborg Robert Stack: SILENCE SKIN BAG! Do not mock my grammar. It is superior to yours for I am Schmidt. That is my name. My friends call me Schmidty.

TRDWS: Really? You have friends?

Schmidt: YES! I have a very active social life. For example I am really into water polo. I have plenty of water polo friends. Do not doubt me or I will incinerate you.

TRDWS: Wow that is fascinating. Okay you know what I am tired of arguing. So what happens next?

Schmidt: Continue on with your pathetic attempts as human humour and I will monitor. But beware for I shall be watching. This primitive phone communication will cease in 5,4, 3,2,1

TRDWS: Uhh..this isn’t a phone call. You are standing right in front of me.

Schmidt: SILENCE PEASANT! I am not talking to you now unless you have an Unsolved Mystery for me to solve.

Well that is how it went so I guess look forward to my new editor’s take on things. Honestly can’t say I am thrilled by this but I will continue to bring my reviews to you as best as I can.